| Food that Helps Fight Crime | The Shrine to Donuts. |
| Just Flesh-In the Dialogue | To Proven Movie Clichés. |
| A Reference Table for | Swearing in Every Language. |
| Living With the Dead | In Tigger's Haunted Apartment. |
| The Macarena for Meat Eaters | McDonald's Deluxe Line Dance. |
| Alas, Sometimes a Blowjob | Is Just a Job. |
| Obviously the Ultimate Wisdom | Comes from Mr. T. |
| The Latest in Pyramid Schemes | Is for the Male's Member. |
| View These Before Lunch | Visualizations at Rotten.com. |
| For He Who Has Everything | The Malady of the Month. |
| Symbol of Freedom...Bald Eagle | Symbol of Good Taste...Pink Flamingo. |
| What Men Know About Women | Exhaustive and On the Net. |
| Charity Comes to the Web | The Skid Row Site. |
| Don't Laugh. You Need | Your Nostrils to Breathe. |
| Eat Your Vegetables | Before They Eat You. |
| For Furry, Loveable Advice | Consult the Weasel. |
| Sesame Street is Not All Pablum | Particularly When it Comes to Bert. |
| How I Will Die | And How I'll Be Remembered. |
| MTV and its | Dedicated Hate Page. |
| Goats Don't Just Look Evil | They Are Evil. |
| The Griffin Factor, Or | Why Losers Always Win. |
| Rorschach's Inkblot Butterfly Is | Really Just a Split-Open Dog's Head. |
| "I Come to Bury the Dead" | On the Internet. |
| Every Wonder What Young People | Most Like to Chat About? |
| Post Purchase & Realistically Prepped | Dismember Me Elmo. |
| No Murdered Metaphors | But Lots of Strangled Similes. |
| July Fourth Not Withstanding | The Aliens Are Already Here. |
| Trust Me. Just Go Read | Walter Miller's Biography. |
| Anyone Can Collect Stamps, But | There Are Other Lickable Throwaways. |
| Find T-Bones to T-Rex Bones | Excavate Your Own Backyard. |
| Those Thrilling Days of Yesteryear | Relived in Pulp Magazines. |
| David Duchovny's #1 Fan | By Simple Process of Elimination. |
| Class Is Not the Most Discreet | Place to Spank Your Monkey. |
| The Misuse Was Inevitable | Blackmail Arrives on the Net. |
| The Handy and Indispensable | Manly Man Manual. |
| An Alumni Association | For College Dropouts. |
| When Extremely Drunk You | May Read the Lyrics to "99 Bottles." |
| The Most Oppressed Minority | Now Fights for Liberation. |
| Darwin's Fittest Always Survive | What Happens to the Unfit? |
| The Cloud's Silver Lining | Why Ebola Is Cool. |
| Correctly Guessing Their Sex | May Be an Important Skill. |
| Go Public and Join | The World Nap Organization. |
| What if Computer Geeks | Became Songsters and Poets? |
| Fetish of a Different Color | This One Cast in Concrete. |
| Read the Secret Diary | Of Bill Gates. |
| Speaking of Mike Rosoff | His Latest Network. |
| Hopefully You Won't Use These | Tips to Drive Like a Moron. |
| Hopefully Your Parents Won't Use | Any of These Names for You. |
| The Pizza Boy Delivers Food | And Takes Away an Education. |
| The New Y-Files Cases | Even Scully and Mulder Couldn't Solve. |
| Considering an Alfa Romeo? | Check a Track Record First. |
| The Burgeoning Clock | Of Firearm Self-Defense. |
| The Mormon Instructions | On How to Avoid Masturbation. |
| Skip Multiculturalism Completely | And Go to Multifunctionalism. |
| Perpetually Maligned by Hollywood | Virtual Conference on Mad Science. |
| Real Quotes, Real Stupid | I Can't Believe They Said That. |
| It Boils Down to Overpopulation | Voluntary Human Extinction Movement. |
| Recovered at Long Last | The Lyrics to "Rubber Ducky." |
| Help Via the Net With | The Automatic Complaint Generator. |
| Before the National Debt | Help Steve First. |
| Society for Prevention of Parents | From Naming Their Children Jennifer. |
| Lurking Ominously to Our North | The Evil Empire Known as Canada. |
| Hillary Clinton and J. Edgar Hoover | Both Bought Their Clothing Here. |
| Crime Fighting Goes Organic | The Legend of Johnny Shitpants. |
| A Groundswell of Opposition | "Why I Hate Frames" Club. |
| The Buffoonery of Farrakhan On | Who Offed the Sphynx's Nose. |
| A Redhead's Rather Depressing | "Why I Hate Men." |
| Misadventure Kit for the Kid | With Everything But Common Sense. |
| Positive Use for Those AOL Disks | Recycled As High Art. |
| From the Oral Majority | Their Past Columns. |
| Newest Useful Extension to HTML | MInd Reading Markup Language. |
| Photographs of Actual | Signs of Texas. |
| The Long, Dark Teatime of the Soul | A Great Collection of Works. |
| The Convenience of Canning | Now Extends to College. |
| Make Your Computer | Write Like a Mass Murderer. |
| Looks Caught on Camera | Candid Reactions to Backfires. |
| Why Asian Women Should | Date Asian Men. |
| Good News/Bad News In | The Later Stages of Dating. |
| Poetry for the Untalented Poet | Submit Your Own Doggerel. |
| Or, For the Haiku Lover | The Bad Haiku Library. |
| Save Psychic Telephone Fees | At the Psycho Friends NETwork. |
| "Heartless Bitches Int'l" for Women | Tired of Weakling Male Jerks. |
| From the Male Perspective | Ex-Girlfriend Horror Stories. |
| Test Your Trivia Knowledge | Of Bizarre Historical Facts. |
| A Matter of Outrage Over the Evil | Implications of Breakfast Cereal Ads. |
| Cultural Hero Tupac Shakur - R.I.P. | Ironically Includes "Poetic Justice." |
| Life Sucks, Then You Die | Memorial to Dead Fish. |
| Brand New Giveaway Scheme | And You Are Not the Recipient. |
| From the Unique Gift Department | The Do-It-Yourself Root Canal Kit. |
| Cosmo's Advice for Men | With His Wife's Editorial Control. |
| Simpler, More Primitive Advice | From Grogg the Neanderthal. |
| After a Day at the Beach | Send This Guy Your Leftover Sand. |
| The Dog Ate My Homework | And Other Time-Honored Excuses. |
| Anatomy Reflects Character In | The Testicles of Famous People. |
| Nothing's Funnier Than Reality | Especially That of Human Stupidity. |
| First Ever for Visiting Aliens | A Guide to Planet Earth. |
| Make Your Genitals "Larger" | With the Sexual Enhancement Mirror. |
| If Smoke and Mirrors Won't Work | There Are Some Real Devices. |
| Join the Crusade | To Save the Adverb. |
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